Presidential Anagrams: Mind Can Quash Joy

I don't want to sound like a big nerd or anything, but I love anagrams: words or phrases that are made by rearranging other words/phrases. Since I also love presidents, it seemed natural to create anagrams of all the presidents' names, and I'm going to share them with you now.

There are some rules and guidelines to anagramming. Each letter in the original word or phrase (or name, in this case) needs to be used exactly once in the resulting anagram. Punctuation can be added as needed. There are anagram programs that let you type something in and then compute anagrams for you. That's great and all, but it's also no fun. I did these with pen and paper, although I did use a program to double-check my results. 

I feel that anagrams need to make some kind of sense. They can be silly, but they have to sound like a somewhat reasonable phrase or sentence---they can't just be random jumbles of words. The resulting phrases don't necessarily need to have anything in common with the subject, but the very best ones will. Several of these presidential anagrams do describe their namesakes, but I think my favorites are James Buchanan and Warren G. Harding...and not just because they're kind of dirty.

For the purposes of the presidential anagrams, I chose to include/not include commonly used middle names/initials (or longer/shorter forms of first names) depending on what worked best. Some names, especially those that include a disproportionate amount of vowels or consonants, can be really tough (I'm looking at you, John Kennedy and Barack Obama), but I made it work. John Tyler was nearly impossible.

This list is by no means exhaustive, but they're the best I came up with for each president. Without further ado:

George Washington	Throwing a Nose Egg
John Adams	Oh, Sand Jam!
Thomas Jefferson	Fresh Foam on Jets Moth Jar Offenses Mothers: Jeans Off! Major Hen Offsets
James Madison	Join Mad Seams
James Monroe	No Ammo Jeers Mojo Nears Me
John Quincy Adams	Mind Can Quash Joy
Andrew Jackson	Scan Down a Jerk Nerd Owns a Jack
Martin Van Buren	Invert Urban Man Vain Number Rant Rent Nirvana Bum
William Henry Harrison	Hire Slimy Iron Narwhal
John Tyler	Her N.Y. Jolt
James Polk	Joke Lamps
Zachary Taylor	A Crazy Holy Rat Try a Lazy Roach
Millard Fillmore	Mild Moral Filler LOL Mermaid Frill
Franklin Pierce	Rank-File Prince Can Fire Per Kiln
James Buchanan	A Man’s Jean Chub
Abraham Lincoln	Born Llama Chain Banal Calm Rhino
Andrew Johnson	Horn Down Jeans Jar Shown No End
Ulysses S. Grant	Stern Ugly Sass Stern Guy’s Lass
Rutherford Hayes	Here For Thursday
James Garfield	Smear Jedi Flag
Chester Arthur	Truth Searcher
Grover Cleveland	Revolver Clanged
Benjamin Harrison	Major Brains in Hen
William McKinley	Wily Camel in Milk
Theodore Roosevelt	Lose Over Teeth Odor Other Elves’ Toe Odor Love the Rooster Ode The Overdose Looter Do the Elves Root Ore?
William Taft William Howard Taft	Will T.: I am Fat Wow, I Hit Fat Mallard Thwart a Mild Ol’ Waif
Woodrow Wilson	Wow, I Drown Solo Worn Solo Widow Wow, Indoor Owls!
Warren G. Harding	Erring Hard Wang
Calvin Coolidge	Loving Iced Cola
Herbert Hoover	Berth Over Hero
Franklin Roosevelt Franklin D. Roosevelt	No Evil Snorkel Fart Flavor Lets One Drink Stoner Killed For Van
Harry S. Truman	Yarn Hurts Ram Starry Ham Run Hurry Man’s Art
Dwight Eisenhower	Dig the Wiener Show Hero Widens Weight He Is Downright Wee
John Fitzgerald Kennedy	Tend Zinfandel, Jerky Hog
Lyndon Baines Johnson	Oh, Enjoy Non-Bland Sins
Richard Nixon	Our Hind Rhinos Climax
Gerald Ford	Frog Ladder
James Carter	Rams a Reject
Ronald Reagan	A Renal Dragon
George Bush	Oh, Gee! Grubs!
William Clinton	Lilt a Mini Clown I Am Wilt Lincoln
George W. Bush	Where Bugs Go
Barack Obama	Am A Kabob Car
Donald Trump	Damn Turd Pol Old Rant Dump

Because anagrams have to include exactly the same letters as the original name, there are some near-misses I couldn't include in the chart but that I'll list here because they're too good not to:

Thomas Jefferson almost becomes "Major Offenses"

William Henry Harrison almost becomes "Him: An Ill War Hero"
William Clinton almost becomes "Illicit Woman"

If this inspires you to create some presidential anagrams of your own (or if, by some chance, you already had) please share any good ones!